Aam Choor - The Tour

Aam Papad - The Invitation

Aam Rus - The Rituals

1. Bariksha: Confirmation of the alliance
   2. Sagai: The engagement
   3. Haldi & Tel: Ritualistic bath and beautification ceremonies
   4. Tilak: The groom receives lavish gifts
   5. Mehendi and Sangeet: The Henna ceremony
   6. Bhaat: The bride's maternal uncle brings gifts for her and hosts a lavish lunch
   7. Baraat: The groom leaves for the wedding venue
   8. Jaimala: The couple exchanges garlands
   9. Havan: Lighting of the sacred fire
   10. Kanyadaan: Giving away the bride
   11. Phere: Seven steps around the sacred fire
   12. Bidaai: Bridal send off
   13. Parchan: Welcoming the bride into her marital home
   14. Mookh-dekhai or Vadu Milan: The bride is introduced to all her relatives
   15. Reception: Post wedding celebrations

Bariksha: Confirmation of the alliance

Once the parents of the bride and groom have mutually decided that a wedding will take place between their son and daughter, the bride's family sends a silver bowl full of rice, turmeric and 'supari' (areca nut) to the groom' s family along with an envelope containing money. These items are sent as a symbolic gesture to confirm the alliance.

Sagai: The engagement

The formal engagement takes place after the 'bariksha', where the groom's family proceeds to the bride's home laden with gifts for the bride. These gifts usually include a sari, set of jewellery and the engagement ring. The groom's mother places all these in the bride's 'kodi' (sari pallav) and applies the traditional 'tikka' (vermilion mark) on the bride's forehead. Family and close friends are invited to attend this ceremony, which is followed by a lunch or dinner hosted by the bride's parents

Haldi & Tel: Ritualistic bath and beautification ceremonies

These are ritualistic ceremonies signifying the cleansing of one's mind, body and soul before embarking on the path of marriage.

The bride wears simple clothes and all the older women of the household apply oil on her face, arms and legs. A paste called 'uptan' is made from pure vegetable oils, fresh milk curds, henna and turmeric and also applied on the bride's face, arms and legs. Her sisters or cousins then lead her for her bath.
A similar ceremony is held for the groom at his home.

Tilak: The groom receives lavish gifts

The bride's parents, brothers, sisters, uncles and aunts along with their spouses go to the groom's home carrying clothes, jewellery, electronic items, fruits, sweetmeats, and the 'tilak' (paste made from rice and vermilion). The gifts are presented to the groom in the 'puja room' or in front of the family deity and each member of the bride's family applies the 'tilak' on the groom's forehead, thereby blessing him

Mehendi and Sangeet: The Henna ceremony

Traditionally, this is a function meant only for family and close friends and is light hearted affair. These days however it has evolved into a mega event and probably most looked forward to!
Professional Mehendiwallis make intricate patterns on the hands and feet of the bride with Henna paste. Amongst U.P. Kayasts, Henna is applied on the hands of the groom as well. This is done amidst singing of traditional songs as well as parodies based on popular songs. Members of both families join in to sing and dance in celebration.

Bhaat: The bride's maternal uncle brings gifts for her and hosts a lavish lunch

The 'mama' or bride's maternal uncle plays a major role in any Kayast wedding. He is expected to give lavish gifts to his sister and niece. On the day of the 'bhaat' he comes to the bride's home bringing saris, jewellery and other gifts and also hosts a lunch for the groom's family and gives them gifts as well.

Baraat: The groom leaves for the wedding venue

This is a very colourful and grand ceremony. The groom is dressed in a white and gold 'achkan' (long jacket with a Nehru collar), and 'churidars' (fitted trousers). On his head he wears a 'safa' (turban) with a 'kalgi' (brooch) pinned onto it. A sword or dagger is tucked in his waistband.

Before he departs all his relatives apply the ceremonial 'tikka' on his forehead (vermilion). Traditionally he would depart on horseback, but these days a decorated car is a popular choice.

The 'baraatis' (groom's party) are received by the bride's family and at the 'darwaza' or entrance to the wedding venue the bride's mother welcomes the groom by applying 'tikka' on his forehead.

Jaimala: The couple exchanges garlands

The bride is led in to the wedding hall by her female relatives and friends. Before entering the 'mantap' (platform erected to perform the marriage rites) the couple exchanges garlands signifying their acceptance of each other as husband and wife.

After the 'jaimala' the wedding rites will commence when the couple will be seated at the 'mantap' along with their parents and the 'pujari' (Brahmin priest).

Havan: Lighting of the sacred fire

All auspicious ceremonies are performed in the presence of the God of Fire or 'Agni Devta'. The sacred fire is lit by the 'pujari' amidst Vedic chants and the couple's parents offer prayers to Lord Ganesha and all the other deities so that they can fulfill the aims of 'dharma' (duty) 'artha' (worldly prosperity) and 'kama' (physical desires).
The 'pujari' adds clarified butter or 'ghee', wood and 'samaghri' (a mixture of herbs, clarified butter, rice grains) to the sacred fire amidst Vedic chants.

Kanyadaan: Giving away the bride

This is one of the most important rites of a Hindu marriage.
The bride, groom and the bride's parents stand up in front of the 'agni'. The parents join their left hands and the groom places his right hand over theirs. The bride then places her right hand over that of the groom's. The bride's parents then lock their right palms and place them over the hands of the bride and groom. The bride's father asks the groom if he accepts the responsibility of being his daughter's husband. The groom accepts and then the bride is 'given away' by mentioning the names of the fathers and forefathers of both families.

The marital knot is tied by taking the end of the groom's scarf and tying it to the sari 'pallav' or 'dupatta' (veil) of the bride to signify the coming together of the couple. After the tying of the marital knot the couple sits in front of the sacred fire and promises are made between the two.

Phere: Seven steps around the sacred fire

The bride and groom walk seven times around the sacred fire, taking their seven wedding vows. For the first three 'pheras' the bride leads the groom around the fire and during the last four 'pheras' the groom has to lead her. All throughout the 'pheras' the 'pujari' recites mantras and offers 'samaghri' to the fire.

Bidaai: Bridal send off

A most touching ceremony, the 'bidaai' is full of emotionally charged moments, when the bride leaves her parental home and bids farewell to her parents, family and close friends.

She leaves for her marital home in a decorated car accompanied by her husband and one male member from her family, usually her brother.

Parchan: Welcoming the bride into her marital home

The groom's mother receives her daughter-in-law at the entrance and performs an 'aarti' for her. The 'aarti' is performed to remove the 'nazar' or evil eye and also to welcome the bride into her new home.

On entering the home, she is taken to the family 'puja room' and made to sit in front of the family deity.

Mookh-dekhai or Vadu Milan: The bride is introduced to all her relatives

'Mookh-dekhai' literally means 'show your face' and since the bride generally has her head covered through most of the ceremonies, this is actually the very first time that the family gets to see her. She is seated and each relative comes in and showers her with gifts and gets acquainted with her.

Reception: Post wedding celebrations

The reception has become mandatory in several families. A grand dinner is hosted and the bride and groom are introduced as a married couple to the community at large.

Bariksha: Confirmation of the alliance

Once the parents of the bride and groom have mutually decided that a wedding will take place between their son and daughter, the bride's family sends a silver bowl full of rice, turmeric and 'supari' (areca nut) to the groom' s family along with an envelope containing money. These items are sent as a symbolic gesture to confirm the alliance.